Come into the light Carol Anne

My TV turned itself on the other day when I moved it slightly to the right. Which having been psychologically scarred by the Poltergeist films as a child, made me a little 'curious' and perhaps even a little 'wary' of the darn thing. Just as wary when I was a child of killer clowns laying in wait underneath my bed. Kids really shouldn't have large unoccupied spaces underneath their beds, it's not good for their minds.

Totally normal sleeping arrangement.







It's been a while since I've been properly petrified by a clown though, nowadays I'm far more likely to be scarred by an episode of Gilmore Girls. Imagine one of those two Hellmeisters dragging you underneath the bed and dropping high speed irony-bombs left right and centre; death by Resentment of Humanity would quickly ensue.

Not that I resent humanity, but watching Gilmore Girls makes you understand why some people do. Take the town they live in for example, the cheesily named Stars Hollow. Demographics: 99.9 percent white and loving themselves sick. That'd be a great tag on the welcome sign when you come in to town.

                                                                  Gross.

I think Gilmore Girls actually gives wholesome a bad name. It's so wholesome it gets you thinking the whole time you're watching "What's the porn remake of this like?". Like those porn parodies they do of main stream Hollywood movies. From Edward Penishands to Whore of the Rings, or my personal favourite, Analyze These (you need to see the cover for the whole effect). That's a franchise that'll never run out of ideas.



Carrying on from my last post that fetaured a look-a-like, I was thoroughly inspired recently whilst watching (for reasons to remain anonymous) the Sesame Street Movie: Follow That Bird. If you've seen it then you might remember this character, Mrs Finch. AKA Big Bird's caseworker.

Mrs Finch

who looks and acts just like (work with me here).......

Mary Portas

The physical and emotional similarities will Blow...Your...Fucking......Mind.