Bruce Grove McDonalds

I had a minor panic attack there once. During one of the darkest and dorkest periods of my life. Bruce Grove isn't such a horrible place mind you, but the McCrackers there is rank. Rank is probably putting it too lightly actually, filth might be a more appropriate descriptor. Filth as in the filthy olive green colour scheme and 'focal point' furniture by the windows. The intense hecticness of everyone else there also did little to alleviate the general filthness going on.

That wasn't the last time a fast food chain induced an increase in my hysteria levels. The menu at Wimpey on Watney Market managed to do just the same. I'd gone there with high hopes of that 80's American sitcom vibe that delivers seratonin directly in to the cerebral cortex (Roseanne, Blossom et al). However when the pictures of bacon and egg fry ups started looking just a little bit too early 2000's, I knew I had to get the shit out of there.

Needing to wizz like a racehorse I hot-tailed it to the pub opposite, which to my complete, abject joy had a fireplace that's the architectural doppelganger of Dumb Donald from Fat Albert. Intelligently, I took a photograph to confirm this fact to you all..

 Fireplace

and Dumb Donald.










Pure magic.


The whole pub could actually be a stand in for the set design on Dune. It's amazing, I mean it's not everyday you come across a pub where the interior decor is themed high-art-space-opera-epic. I'd only gone in their for an emergency piddle but I couldn't stop marvling at all the curved masonry, balustrading and subtle colour schemes. Genuinely unexpected. Of course I really had to beg the Landlady and her cronie to take a photo of the fireplace, which isn't too much of an insane thing to ask for if you really think about it, but boy did they make me feel it. What they lacked in verbal communication skills they made up for in facial-gesturing-ability. Talk about weirding way. I mean what a bunch of Bene Gesserit Bitches. Who does she think she is? The Kwisatz Haderach!

Dork gold mine of innuendo.